Healing through trauma

After living through something really challenging, life may feel like it can never go back to ‘normal’.

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Many of my clients have lived through a life-changing experience, either recently or in the past, and they want to come to terms with it. They recognize that a stark change or transition took place from ‘life before’ this event, to ‘life after.’ Everything feels so uncertain, and stability seems out of reach. They are having a hard time recognizing themselves anymore; what they’ve lived through has changed them, and they don’t know how to get their sense of ‘self’ back. They struggle with fears and insecurities, and long for things to ‘go back to normal’. But they can’t just ‘be normal’ as they used to: their work, relationships, the roles they fulfill – all have changed. My clients see examples of how others have made a similar transition with seeming ease and strength, and feel powerless to be able to achieve anything similar. Terms like ‘survivor’, ‘warrior’, and even ‘brave’ or ‘courageous’ seem like taunts, or empty words. They struggle to see how any of these words could apply to themselves. My clients are looking for a way forward from their past, and long to feel ‘normal’ again.

From my side of things, I can see my clients’ resilience and worthiness. I know they have inside of them what it takes to make healthy changes: changes in perspective – to see things differently; changes in self-judgment – to give themselves grace and appreciate their abilities; changes in habits – engaging in their ideal lifestyle; and changes in thinking patterns – ditching a lot of that negative feedback-looping that gets so tiring after a while. As the fog of depression and anxiety lifts, they gain confidence and get back to living.